Feel free to skip five episodes

Despite having never played the games – (wait, you mean to tell me there are books, too) – I decided to dive into Netflix’s series The Witcher. I mean, the trailers looked fun and from what I’d heard the action was brutally brilliant and with Henry Cavill in the ‘leading’ role, it had some strong components.

Well, it’s time to give my thoughts on the series. Should I start at the beginning, middle, end, sometime generally in the past or yesterday teatime? It would seem that divergent timelines are fashionable right now.

I kid, of course. In fact, that’s one of the better elements of a series that just left me mostly frustrated and confused.

Now, you could argue that I have no right to critique the show on the grounds of confusion on account of my having never consumed any prior Witcher content. But I am certainly not the only audience member to dive into this series green. No original series should require prior reading, playing or general lore consumption in order to be enjoyed in isolation.

Did it matter that I’d never read a Watchmen comic or even seen the movie prior to jumping in HBO’s Watchmen series last year? Absolutely not. Watchmen is one of the best series I’ve ever seen, (honestly, it’s nearly as good as Daredevil), and was packed with Easter Eggs for long-term fans of the characters and lore despite being totally accessible to rookies.

The Witcher was the complete opposite and for the first three episodes, I was totally lost. While I eventually grew to enjoy the timeline hopping, it no doubt added to the complexity of a lore rich opening thread that totally flew over my head.

In fairness, that didn’t even really matter in the end.

The biggest issue is that I felt as though episodes two through to six were largely pointless to the overall narrative.

Sure, there were important moments for Yennefer – who, by the way, was the only major figure to have any kind of development through the entire series – but other than her transformation into Mage status, you could have skipped a full five episodes without any remorse.

At the start of episode 7, Ciri is literally in exactly the same predicament as she was at the end of episode one – on the run, searching for Geralt. Everything that happens to her in the intervening episodes is simply not relevant to the overall narrative and her character hasn’t shown the kind of development that would have justified the existence of her plot tangents.

Geralt has finally circled around to what I believed the primary focus of this series would be – his mission to find Ciri and keep her safe. That is at least where we appeared to be headed when Ciri fled a burning Cintra in the very first episode. And once again, despite his tumultuous friendship with Jaskier, relations with Yennefer and various slain monsters, Geralt is still exactly the same character that we met in the opening sequences.

Tangents and side quests are fine, but they have to serve some purpose to the overarching narrative, otherwise you simply end up with a “Monster of the Week.”

Perhaps the most fitting descriptors for the series were the fates of our lead characters in the final episode. While Geralt spent the majority of the 60 minute run-time knocked out and useless in the back of a pick-up truck, Yennefer was the one delivering the action and injecting the drama into the finale.

As Yennefer unleashed her chaos and claimed control of the Battle of Sodden Hill – more like Scorched Hill once she was finished with it – she had finally found a way to leave the legacy she craved. Unquestionably, the highlight of the series.

Despite her character acting as the sole narrative driving force for much of time, it was simply not enough to stretch to eight episodes.

High on clutter, low on intrigue – The Witcher might have been a breathtaking thrill-ride for long-term fans of the series, but for this novice it was nothing but a head-scratcher.